2020 has been bizarre, uncertain, full of change, and difficult for so many. My dancing feels inconsequential among all this.
Nonetheless, this year has taught me some things about myself and my relationship to movement and the world. My journey through dance has continued and my ideas have evolved somewhat. I think that’s worth noting, at least for myself.
So here are a few small reflections to close out this strange year.
1. Isolation, energy, and further thoughts
I have been surprised to discover that I, an introvert, not only miss social activity, but feel worn down by its lack. Nowadays, I’m most awake when chatting with friends on a video call, or even just sharing an elevator with a neighbour. Of course I’m familiar with the thrill of a live audience – the rush that enlivens the limbs – but I never thought to connect this to the ways energy is produced and sustained in quotidian movement and social performance – the way a face twitches, tenses, lights up – involuntarily energized -, for example, in the presence of another human being. I realize now that we draw energy from one another, not only when performing, but in everyday life. I am so curious about the nature of that energy, and what it might say about how dance relates to other social acts.
2. Dance is the thing that feels like being alive
The global shift to digital modes of performance, practice, and instruction has left me thinking a lot about what counts as dance. Having watched performances online and even choreographed a piece for livestream, I have clarified that, for me, dance is so much more than a visual medium. What feels like dance to me (whether as performer or as spectator) reverberates in the body – the music and energy is immersive – an experience that is a challenge to replicate through image alone. What feels like dance to me is something more immediate.
Of course, this definition is very personal, defined through my lived experiences as an able-bodied woman. Perhaps a definition that might better fit across various experiences is: dance is the thing that makes your body and heart feel charged, buzzing, and alive.
3. Practice makes peace
It’s been interesting to see how people have managed with the built up tensions of Covid-19. Lots of people turned to baking. Others took up gardening. I did a bit of both – and like many other dancers, I found special comfort in fostering a practice of fundamentals – daily stretching, basic technique and choreography classes, running drills of the first 12 steps of Kandyan dance… There’s often so much pressure to progress and produce new things; this year helped me discover the joy and peace of practice for its own sake, something I want to carry forward.
Gaman Thaale 